Roses in December

Oh God.. I LOVE it!

2007-01-06T21:32:00.000-08:00

After and interesting dream that lasted oh...13 hours I say onward and upward. I cant possible say what the dream was about, so much so that its not meant for blogging a big no, no. It was a surreal dream, as most of my nightmares are but this one was about how inside my mind I have all these rooms and areas that I can sort of change just by thinking it. Also known as an imagination (XD) But in my dream I was able to somehow ( I dunno if this makes sense) but I was able to somehow walk arround in my own mind and into the different rooms. They were all pretty much labeled Diary, Smoke, Feathers,and dun dun DUN Peter. Now I dont know if most people know what the hell dreams mean but I do know that all the Peters I know arent exactly...well they dont deserve a whole room in my subconcious to be special. *snort* Anyway in my dream I'm walking arround looking/peeking into each room because some old lady at the "door" of my subconcious told me to watch out for the bears. So apparently there were bears wandering arround in my head...(yeah that and I have feathers, smoke and some guy named Peter wtf O.o)...Anyway I'm walking arround and I go into the room labeled Peter and inside are all these video screens...and all this different stuff is happening on each one (I'm the best describer arent I? ^_^) And then all of a sudden there's this guy standing next to me ( I have no clue who he is but he's awsome and just plain freak'n awsomeness XD This translates to those of you who dont know me: KYAAA he was so cute XD )
O.o I just lost my train of though...anyway... erm..
*Dies*
Anyway the dream was weird because later on I'm flying on a vaccum...XD Dont ask why I just tried to unplug it and it floated up in the air and I was like ah! and i jumped...on it... lol

After Vactaion

2007-01-04T19:55:00.000-08:00

I'm not obsessive...ish...Okay well I saw my rocker guy in the halls today for the first time this week. I dont stalk I just saw him so = p anyway he was doing teh robot with his first... He looked so happy ^.^ I tried not to smile as I walked passed him. He's so awsome... ^.^ I know I'm a dork but hey I gotta have someone to smile at while I day dream in History Class! ^.^ I'm dork yes I know...but anyway he was laughing and I was like aww... I'm happy that he's happy...before he seemed kinda sad I dunno why he didnt smile for the longets time now I guess he's happier after 2 weeks of rest ^.^ Thats good well anyway Here's my Song of the day....

Two weeks away feels like the whole world should've changed
but I'm home now, and things still look the same
I think I'll leave it till tomorrow to unpack,
try to forget for one more night that
I'm back in my flaton the road where the cars never stop going through the nightto
a life where I can't watch the sunset, I don't have time,
I don't have timeI've still got sand in my shoes
and I can't shake the thought of youI should get on,
forget you but why would I want to

I know we said goodbye, anything else would've been confused
but I want to see you again

tomorrow's back to work and down to sanitation
should run a bath and then *clear* up the mess I made before I left here
try to remind myself that I was happy here before I knew that I could get on a plane and fly away
from the road where the cars never stop going through the nightto
a life where I can watch the sunset and take my time, take all our time
I've still got sand in my shoes and I can't shake the thought of you
I should get on forget you but why would
I want toI know we said goodbye,
anything else would've been confused

but I want to see you again
I want to see you againtwo weeks away, all it takes,
to change and turn me around I've fallenI walked away, and never said,
that I wanted to see you againI've still got sand in my shoes
and I can't shake the thought of youI should get on, forget you
but why would I want toI know we said goodbye, anything else would've been confused
but I want to see you again
I wanna see you againI wanna see you again

Childhood songs...

2006-12-06T22:02:00.000-08:00

When I was little I used to hear my grandpa sing this song to be all the time, but I was singing it the other day and the way I was singing it went.

Tan tan tan cantaba el Rana
Tan tan tan de bajo del angua

tin tin tin tin rin tin tin tin tin
tin tin tin tin tin tin er rin.
[repeat the same verses over and over ]

-snort-
Yes that was what I was singing...even the tin tin part...its catchy...lol
Anywya I thought those werent the words or I had forgotten them and I asked my grandpa to sing it and he sung it the same way. So I decided to look up the lyrics and here they are...
MUCH different than what I thought they were....
lol

Cu Cú Cantaba La Rana
Canciones de corro

Cú cú, cú cú,
cú cú, cú cú.

Cú cú cantaba la rana.
Cú cú debajo del agua.
Cú cú paso un caballero.
Cú cú con capa y sombrero.
Cú cú paso una senora.
Cú cú con traje de cola.
Cú cú paso un marinero.
Cú cú vendiendo romero.
Cú cú le pidio un ramito.
Cú cú no le quiso dar.
Cú cú y se echo a llorar.

Change your Reality...

2006-09-24T23:24:00.000-07:00

I really like this poem...its sounded deep and it spoke to me in a way. The translated version isnt as good but you get the same impact I guess...Anyway Enjoy. This is Detente Sombra by Sor Juana.

Detente Sombra

Detente, sombra de mi bien esquivo,
imagen del hechizo que más quiero,
bella ilusión por quien alegre muero,
dulce ficción por quien penosa vivo.
Si al imán de tus gracias, atractivo,
sirve mi pecho de obediente acero,
¿para qué me enamoras lisonjero
si has de burlarme luego fugitivo?
Mas blasonar no puedes, satisfecho
,de que triunfa de mí tu tiranía:
que aunque dejas burlado el lazo
estrechoque tu forma fantástica ceñía,
poco importa burlar brazos y pecho
si te labra prisión mi fantasía.

Sor Juana Inés de la Cruz

Translated Version:

Hold Shade

Hold, shade of my aloof good,
image of the spell that I want more,
beautiful illusion for that cheers I die,
sweet alive laborious fiction by that.
S.A. magnet of your thanks, attractive,
it serves my chest as obedient steel,
so that you enamor lisonjero to meif
there are to deceive to me soon fugitive?
But to brag of you cannot, satisfied,
over which your tyranny prevails over me:
that although you leave deceived the narrow bow
that your fantastic form fitted,little it matters to deceive
arms and chestif my fantasy works prison to you

2006-08-30T22:50:00.000-07:00

I totally love this song...its addicting like Krispy Kremes...*snick*
"Crazy"
Gnarls Barkly

I remember when
I remember
I remember when I lost my mind
There was something so pleasant about that face (OR place, OR phase!)
Even your emotions had an echo
In so much spaceMmm…
And when you’re out there
Without care
Yeah, I was out of touch
But it wasn’t because I didn’t know enough
I just knew too much
Mmm…

Does that make me crazy
Does that make me crazy
Does that make me crazy
Probably(OR "possibly" - depending on what version you have)
An I hope that you are having the time of your life
But think twice
That’s my only advice
Mmm…
Come on now
Who do you
Who do you
Who do you
Who do you think you are
Ha ha haBless your soul
You really think you’re in control
WellI think you’re crazy
I think you’re crazy
I think you’re crazy
Just like me
My heroes had the heart
To live their lives out on the limb
An all I remember
Is thinking I wanna be like them
Mmm…

Ever since I was little

Ever since I was little it looked like fun
It was no coincidence I’ve come
An I can die when I’m done
But maybe I’m crazy
But maybe you’re crazy
Maybe we’re crazy
Probably
Aaah…ooooh…

2006-08-30T22:01:00.000-07:00

Angels and Airwaves
"The Adventure"

I wanna have the same last dream again
The one where I wake up and I'm alive
Just as the four walls close me within
My eyes are open up with pure sunlight
I'm the first to know
My dearest friends
Even if your hope has burned with time
Anything that is dead shall be re-grown
And your vicious pain, your warning sign
You will be fine
Hey oh here I am
And here we go
Life’s waiting to begin
Any type of love it will be shown
Like every single tree reach for the sky
if you're gonna fall
i'll let you know
that i will pick you up
like you for i
i felt this thing
i can't replace
when everyone was working for this goal
where all the children left without a trace
only to come back as pure as gold
to recite this all
Hey oh here I am
And here we go
Life’s waiting to begin
Tonight
Hey oh here I am
And here we go
Life’s waiting to begin
Tonight
Hey oh here I am
And here we go
Life’s waiting to begin
I can not live
I can’t breathe
Unless you do this with me
I can not live
I can’t breathe
Unless you do this with me
I can not live
I can’t breathe
Unless you do this with me
I can not live
I can’t breathe
Unless you do this with me
I can not live
I can’t breathe
Unless you do this with me
I can not live
I can’t breathe
Unless you do this with me
Hey oh, here I am (do this with me)
Here we go
life's waiting to begin (do this with me)
Hey oh, here I am (do this with me)
Here we go
life's waiting to begin
life's waiting to begin

"Bloody Sunday"
Evergreen Terrace

I can't believe the news today
I can't close my eyes and make it go away
How long...
How long must we sing this song?
How long? How long...
Tonight... we can be as one
Tonight...
Broken bottles under children's feet
Bodies strewn across the dead end street
But I won't heed the battle call
It puts my back up
Puts my back up against the wall
Sunday, bloody sunday
Sunday, bloody sunday
Sunday, bloody sunday (sunday, bloody sunday)
And today the millions cry
We eat and drink while tomorrow they die
The real battle we've begun
To claim the victory Jesus won
Sunday, bloody sunday
Sunday, bloody sunday
How long...
How long must we sing this song?
How long? How long...
Tonight... we can be as one
Tonight...
(tonight) sunday bloody sunday
(tonight) sunday bloody sunday
Lets go
Sunday, bloody sunday

2006-08-30T21:56:00.000-07:00

"Amber"
Brainstorm, take me away from the norm
I got to tell you something
This phenomenon, I had to put it in a song
And it goes like
[Chorus:]
Whoa, amber is the color of your energy
Whoa, shades of gold displayed naturally

You ought to know what brings me here
You glide through my head blind to fea
rAnd I know why
(Chorus 2x)
You live too far awayYour voice rings like a bell anyway
Don't give up your independence
Unless it feels so right
Nothing good comes easily
Sometimes you gotta fight(Chorus)
Launched a thousand ships in my heart
So easy, still it's fine from afar
And you know that

Whoa, brainstorm take me away from the norm
Whoa, I got to tell you something

That was...
Artist...311
Album...like I said look it up if you really care.

If it Makes you Happy...

2006-08-30T21:37:00.000-07:00

I really liked this song when I heard it on LIVE 105 so I copied down the lyrics then looked up the mistake free ones on google. ^.^ I just like to share..

"I Will Follow You Into The Dark"

Love of mine some day you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark
No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark
If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black
And I held my tongue as she told me
"Son fear is the heart of love"
So I never went back

If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

You and me have seen everything to see
From Bangkok to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down
The time for sleep is now
It's nothing to cry about
Cause we'll hold each other soon
The blackest of rooms

If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
Then I'll follow you into the dark

That was....
Artist....Death Cab for Cutie
Album....go find out for yourself if your interested!

Wonderous

2006-08-30T16:14:00.000-07:00

First day of school. All I have to say is meh. It wasnt that bad really, I expected it to be a lot worse, but hey at least I got to see some friends and a few old teachers. I expected people to be a bit more...difficult and strict I guess..*snick* Sort of like military school, you hit the ground running you know? Lol I dont really know why I expected what I did but it turned out that 4 of my 6 classes are pretty good. I've got a really great teacher for Ecology he's really nice but he likes orginization -_- not my area, or my forte. Then I have a pretty good impression of my Lit teacher, Anatomy and Physio. My Math teacher didnt do such a great job with her intro but I guess she likes to be hard and distant with her students.*shrugs* She's okay in my book I guess. But my History teacher, he's a bit...odd lets say. I dont really like his grading polocies only a 95 or higher is an A besides that everything else is a B+. And I was ticked off by an 89.5 last year. O.O Well anyway I just think this year is going to be a bit of a challenge, but after all with great struggle comes sucess.

-shrugs-
High school isnt everything ^.^
Lemme just get it on the record that you never miss home until you've been far away...^.^ I love my Cool Bridge with Fog...And cold mornings and

Whether or not the weather is on my side
We could be together if i stay bright eyed
I can feel the summer sending signs of fall
I see a happy ending if i stand up tall
Whether or not this cold front is moving in
Or its just vacation and well soon be friends
I know i cant avoid her shes in the air
May as well polaroid her with the way i stare
Whether or not our season will soon be done
I think ive got a reason to enjoy the sun
I hear the forecast aint as bad as it seems
It should be clearing up soon if only in dreams
Ooo tonight the stars are oh so bright.
Ive gotta get outdoors while the weathers still here
Ive gotta take in the starlight before it disappears
A chance lasts a finite time in the warm july night time
So take in all you can

KYAAA!

2006-08-04T19:16:00.000-07:00

*giggles* I must repost this song because it reminds me of my rocker guy...

Particle man,
particle man
Doing the things a particle can
Whats he like?
its not important
Particle man

Is he a dot,
or is he a speck?
When hes underwater
does he get wet?
Or does the water get him instead?
Nobody knows,
particle man

Triangle man,
triangle man
Triangle man hates particle man
They have a fight,
triangle wins
Triangle man

Universe man,
universe man
Size of the entire universe man
Usually kind to smaller man
Universe man

Hes got a watch with a minute hand,
Millenium hand and an eon hand
When they meet its a happy land
Powerful man, universe man

Person man,
person man
Hit on the head with a frying pan
Lives his life in a garbage can
Person man

Is he depressed
or is he a mess?
Does he feel totally worthless?
Who came up with person man?
Degraded man,
person man

Triangle man,
triangle man
Triangle man hates person man
They have a fight,
triangle wins
Triangle man

-snork-
Yall must hear this song I swear...it sounds so lame but funny...http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B000002H7V/ref=pd_bbs_null_1/102-9079270-8698506?v=glance&s=music There just look for the Partical Man son..lol

Letters from the Grave...

2006-08-04T19:08:00.000-07:00

Ooo that sounded eerie..thankfully I scare easily and wont post anything eerie here ever cuz I scare myself sometimes...*giggles* I made scary faces in the mirror and scared myself once..lol I know I'm a dork...
*dances* Okies here's a letter I wrote for a book I want to write comprised of all letters from this one Character "Maggie Puente" So tell me what you think. Leave a comment please! Dankies! Arigto Mel-chan for reading *beams*!

Dear Heather,

Hey there, Mom, nice of you to finally give me your address. So you finally fulfilled your dream, huh? Moving as far away from me as possible, Florida. Funny place Florida, but I guess your where you belong, away from me. Like you always wanted.

Where shall I begin? I’m not exactly the type of person to open up right from the start, but I’ve been a lot of things over the years haven't I? I’ve decided to type this letter for you because I have scribbles for letters. Ha ha. Well I just wanted to say that I’m in complete euphoria over you taking such audacious (bold) move in order to keep my little brother, your son. I know you love him, the adoration that a mother can have for a child is beyond any of that than I can possibly match, but I love him all the same.

They say “mothers always know best” However considering the way the world works “best” isn't always in the favor of the one committing the actions. Huh, sounds like I’m speaking in riddles again doesn't it? I do that sometimes. But anyway what I mean is what's good for one person may not be good for another. There’s also the saying “like father, like son” that phrased sends a chill through me, even though its full intention was never meant to be taken that way. Every time I think of you I think of little Tom attached in your arms. I think of who he could be, both the good and the bad. I pray for the good and will try my damn-est to fight back all of the bad. But knowing you you’ll want a bit of chaos in his life just to have something to complain about. I know you’ve given up a lot to bring both myself and Tom into this world.

We've both been brought into a world that we don't completely understand but as the saying goes “Life’s a mystery”. I know how you always used to tell me how I should be a leader not a follower. I try to live by that the best I can. You notice I’m trying my hardest to be the best I can be when it comes to academics. The best. You never could understand that could you? I was nothing but a nerd to you, always had my face stuck in a book didn't I? No, you never liked that at all did you? I’m sorry for being the honors student you never wanted. You understand why I do what I do, now? Being the best in class, that number one ranking. It feels good. It feels like you’ve accomplished something. Maybe its not as great as breaking into the principal office and stealing his car keys, you’ve told me this time and time again, but I take pride in my work.

I like school it keeps my mind off things at home, off the words you say. I like school. I hope Tom will have that same approach in life, and I’m sure he will. I’ll bring out the Asian side of him. Ha ha. I know he’s not Vietnamese, he’s something you cant differ from yourself.

He’s all American isnt he? Nice blonde hair, nice hazel eyes, just what you always wanted isnt it, Ma? Some kid you can look at and see yourself in. No some, what was it you used to call me again? Ah yes, China girl, though the fact that I’m Vietnamese didn't stop you from saying it did it? But he’s still my brother right? Anyway my point is, its not always easy to be good in this world. You yourself know that. But you took a different approach on it.

Because I’ve learned that being good doesn't make you cool, at least not with the people who you supposedly think are “cool” those gangster girls who wear red everyday, your kind of people, who let the boys talk down to them, and give the teachers a hard time. Apparently “cool” for them isn't good grades.
So if they didn't like it I didn't need them, I chose friends who were at my level and knew a few more insults that didn't include four letter words or the word fuck but insults that really bit the heart of every honors student I know, malicious illiterate. Something I don't ever want to become, Malicious (bitter, resentful, hateful) or illiterate (unable to speak, read, or write properly.) I smirk (smile evilly) every time I hear my friend call the gangster girls that, its probably the worst insult you could call an honors student but they don't have the vocabulary to mind it. Like I said, its fun to be smart. I’ll teach Tom that one day. But anyway, being smart, the people who find it to be acceptable turn out to be the most reliable friends, the ones who call you after a hard test and ask if everything's okay or just to check up. The ones you can rely on every day, the ones to can ask about Trigonometry and they’ll know what they’re talking about. Its funny sometimes if you step away and look at the conversations we have. We’ve never talked about anything too serious you and me. But I accept that that's just the way our relationship is right?

Mother and daughter. Ying and Yang. Light and Dark. I’m the serious one. Your bubbly. I’m quiet. Your outgoing. I’ve got book smarts. You’ve got street smarts, common sense. I don't. At least, I don't have much of it that is. I don't realize when a guy is asking me out. And when I do its a week too late. Funny isn't it? I thought you’d find it funny. Well anyway, the point of this letter was to tell you a bit about myself, about us, about you, about this whole screwy life we’ve all had to lead. And what we’ve gotten ourselves into. First of all, I realize, take a deep breath I’m going to get serious, I realize now that your addictions, your love interests, the way you cant sit still. They’re all apart of you in some way, shape, or form. And if I try to change this, you’ll lash out at me. Because in the end its all regret, remorse, and remember. You’ll regret leaving whatever it is (love, addiction, anger) but once you’ve gotten it back you’ll remorse over how good your life was without it. You’ll remember that there are still people out there who love you, who support you. Those little eyes looking up at you from the day he was born.

Who would want to see you as their hero? I bet he would one day, you and my step-father would like Tom to look up to you two right? Your, after all the perfect All American family. Nice kid, Tom. It doesnt matter what you do now Mom. I’ll always send him money for school, whether you use it for that or not I’ll never know. You still have your addicitons under control right? Well I hope so because your all American family needs Tom. Be a Hero for him Mom. Like you were supposed to be a hero for me. Teach him Mom. Teach him what you know. Because, know that you don't need your addiction to be for people to like you. Know you don't need to have gangster friends to be “cool”. Teach him like you taught me, only better, with a bit more knowledge and a lot more confidence. Your addictions are the things that you can change, and what you are changing for the most part. I’m proud of you and I’m sending you a hug in this letter.

Secondly, is your love life, I know what your going to say, you’re probably going to skip this part too, but if you are, there’s no point in telling you I’m going to have an abusive husband when I get married. There you are, are you listening now? I hope you are because I’ll need to explain a bit. First off, here’s just a tip I’ve learned that the guys I’m most interested in aren't the guys I would want to have an actual relationship with. You know, those wild pierced tattooed gangster guys? I smirk now as you know my interest in guys is going to shock the hell out of August and Peter, they’re still good foster parents just to let you know, if I ever bring a guy like that to the house you‘ll hear about it from them. But my point is, Mom, you should know by now that the guys your most interested in, isn't the guy you should necessarily be with. I know he hits you Mom, and if Tom sees that hes going to think its right. I know that a gangster guy like that would only be fun for show, not for speaking about how I feel, that's where my football guys come in. Not my first pick in a guy, for some reason I’m attracted to bad guys, to chaos. But like my school counselor said, if you were abused as a kid you’ll find it attractive later on in life, trying to relive the traumas of your childhood. So if your really attracted to someone you shouldn't go for it, try to find a nice down to earth guy who’ll respect you, and care about you. You and I have a taste for chaos, because of we (subconsciously) want to relive past traumas. So my word of advice that you probably wont take is: “If you’re really attracted to a guy, don't go for it. Ask the question, first, does he respect you off the bat? Will he keep respecting you? Will he hit me? Will he care if hurts me? Do I care?” The answer to the last question should be yes. You should care. I’m not saying you should kill my step-father, but just leave him, he’ll be nothing but a bad influence on Tom.

And my last point is, why you cant sit still. Its a form of restless leg syndrome ha ha. I just added the sit still part just to make you smile. I hope you and I get to know each other better now that you’ve decided to become more responsible and to stand up for what's yours. Because remember, it order to get what you want you need to sacrifice what you don't really need. Our relationship is something I really stand in awe of. Don't you think so? That a person like you, outgoing, bubbly could have a kid as serious and as quiet as me. But its like you always said, “we’re not the same, we’re never going to be the same, we dont look alike and we dont talk alike.” Your words were meant to be cruel then yet now I praise them, those words were exactly right. I’m not you. I’ll never be you. And I’m glad for it. . I like self-expression. You knew that when I said I liked art. And when I showed you one of my books I wrote. You said it was fluff and my drawing was crap but I kept doing them anyway. It keeps me from resorting to fighting, to screaming, to crying, because with a simple pencil and paper everything can go away.

Written down, things don't hurt as much and you can read and reread them over and over trying to understand how you, yourself, should feel about the situation. I don't know if you feel the same way. I practically died when I didn't have anywhere to write down my thoughts in Mexico. I couldn't express myself, so that night I called you I exploded. I’m not one for talking person to person, I run out of things to say, but in words written down I can say anything and not be afraid of what people will say. Do you understand? Do you really? Later that night I found a piece of paper and wrote how I felt. I reread it and analyzed it. I felt better after that. Because no one can really understand you, like you, right? I don't know if I’m rambling or not but I hope you figure out what I’m trying to say. I wonder if you feel the same way about your emotions? I don't like to talk about how I feel a lot, so I write it down and keep it. I reread it every now and then. After a while I understand myself a bit more. I think that's one of the reasons we’re so different, you can talk about anything and be comfortable, I can write about anything and not feel ashamed.

I know that your parents came to this country and (from now on in this letter August and Peter are N and P okay?) they wanted a better life for their kids. You and your brothers weren't at any advantage but you tried hard, or at least as hard enough as you thought you could do without getting too serious. No one in our family is too serious, I’ve noticed that, not even Dad. Ha ha. Well anyway I suppose it was a group thing how you all did what you did and tried as hard as you did with the materials given to you. N and P were always just saying good job try harder. I find that to be a Yin and Yang thing. Good and Bad. Because if your not motivated, then there’s nothing you can do, but if you are then there’s a lot you can do

For example, I told you that I told my teachers that you were some great book writing, super math genius, worlds smartest Mom who didn't accept anything lower than an A-. In my mind, I know that you could care less so long as I work hard, but that motivation to have that super strong strictness was my motivation. To live up to some great imagined image of you. To make you proud, even though I know your proud over a B+ , I’m not. You don't know how hard it is, how much of failure to me that is. I want to be the best, so I can show you a knew life. The high, better, things in life. The things I imagined, that once you saw them, you’d want it too, you‘d want to be a better person to get them. A gigantic house. A summer house. A yearly trip to France. A cottage in Lake Tahoe. Eating whatever you want at a restaurant and not worrying about the price. But you never seemed to want to take the honest way, the more sturdy (wont fall on you and land you in jail) way. I tried to show you these things with my grades, what I could be, what I could do for you. What you could do for yourself. But apparently that didn't work. But I’m glad that you’ve seen the light. I hope you can have a sturdy life now. With or without my B+. Funny. Somehow I always resort to talking about me. Sigh. Well now at least you know a bit more about me. But you’ll probably resort to saying this is all Ragamuffin gibberish . (Bull Shit in honors student language Ha ha.) But to tell you the truth all that I’ve said here came from the heart. Two hours and twenty four minutes my time revealing my heart, both the good and the bad of it. I hope you don't just throw this away for simple ratings of a teenage girl. I just wanted to show you how I feel. So this letter is exactly that, my feelings written down on paper for you to read, and reread. Because you cant reread a phone call.
Love your daughter,
Maggie Puente

LEAVE a comment Sammy-chan! *giggles* Or Sammy-san! I've not quite mastered honorifics...-____-

Bored...Summertime...I UPDATED!w00t

2006-06-30T17:21:00.000-07:00

I'm like so totally bored...I should go practice badminton so I dont get kicked off Var next year...what with my ubber soft drops and all...cant even do those right anymore..*sigh* I just realized a couple days ago that I can be good as something...I WANT to be good at something...*snork* I told myself the other day as I was struggling to find my phone that "I'm not good at anything... damn... I suck at everything...seriously though..." And then I think about it for a long time and think. Hey well I havent tried everything have I? I've got what I'm not espeacially...naturally good at. See what I want to be good at is something that comes naturally, but nothing comes naturally really you have to learn it so meh..here's a list of what doesnt come Naturally to me...
1. Cooking.
2. Cleaing up a Mess.
3. Cleaning anything. ( I just had to put that twice...I just cant do it..with a smile on my face I cant...I'll totally go psycho chica on someone's arse...)
4. Swimming (throw me in a lake and I drown...^__^ cuz I'm cool like that)
5. Shopping (It annoyes the hell out of me but I do it anyway....its boring...but if I go with friends it can be fun..)
6 Appareantly Thinking...because I cant think of anything else..
What comes naturally or easy to me.
1. Listening
2. Wanting to Help
3 Helping (even though I dont know what I'm doing like at all... ^___^ <<< Tehe Sam I stole your smiley!)
4 Sit still through a movie without complainging or talking (Even though everyone knows a movie with Adam Sandler sucks major ass...He should just quit I swear...)
5 Reading. (Even though right now I'm totally avoiding everything school related)
6 Riding a bike. (*snork* I'm not totally good at it but hey at least I like doing it tis fun!!)
7. Making up words like snork...^___^ <<< (Haha Sam I now officially Ive you snork...tis your word now..))
8 Writting random things to friends ( I can only be random with enough pixie sticks in my system you all know that by now..)

okies ish bored now...POST!

False Accusations...

2006-05-30T21:52:00.000-07:00

Yeah so today for whatever reason I come home from school go to my room and bawl my eyes out. Good times yeah? I admit my day wasnt going so well..lol its not easy being green...Anyway I cried for about an hour when my Mom comes home from where ever the hell she was and she's like. Why are your eyes red? Why are your eyes red? And I'm like what? What are you talking about. (You know she doesnt fucking care...she just wants to act like a Mom for once...somethings she's definitely not at the moment....She suddenly leaves for three months without a trace with her boyfriend and comes back as if it were nothing? I mean she's done it before I remember in 5th grade she left in September and came back in July. Good time yeah? Anyway my point is who is she to make accusations? Who is she to start being a Mom all of a sudden? Why the hell does she just have to jump to Drugs so quickly fuck...Why cant she just ask what's wrong....Ha look who I'm talking about..feelings were never her forte...) And so she glares at me and says that Ive been staying out of the house after school for too long now and she thinks its better if I just start comming straight home. What the fucking hell?? She wants to be a Mom now? After all the crap that she's done? No thanks..please and thank you.. Anyway she starts threatening me saying she's going to send me to a Nunary and all that crap..Hahaha Do those even exsist anymore?

~*~*~ A Very peeved Kathy

Tear my Heart Open...

2006-05-12T23:51:00.001-07:00

I saw him today. Sitting on a table sitting by a girl with dark brown hair and a blue shirt. He was sharing earphones with her. Even if it doesnt mean anything it made my weekend a sad one. He was sitting too close for confort. Apparently I dont have to worry about Amanda anymore. It doesnt mean anything...Does it? I over react yes I know but still...her head was leaning on his shoulder. I just want to be alone for a bit...

In one single moment your whole life can turn 'round
I stand there for a minute starin’ straight into the ground
Lookin’ to the left slightly, then lookin’ back down
World feels like it’s caved in – proper sorry frown
Please let me show you where we could only just be, for us
I can change and I can grow or we could adjust
The wicked thing about us is we can always have trust
We can even have an open relationship, if you must
I look at him and he stares almost straight back at me
But his eyes glaze over like he’s lookin’ straight through me
Then his eyes must have closed for what seems an eternity
When they open up he’s lookin’ down at his feet

Dry your eyes mate
I know it’s hard to take but his mind has been made up
There’s plenty more fish in the sea
Dry your eyes mate I know you want to make him see how much this pain hurts
But you’ve got to walk away now
It’s over...

You learn something new...

2006-04-23T17:53:00.000-07:00

I went to open gym for two days and I thought hey at least I try. I know I know...I'm a dork for comparing myself to everyone but I do. I look at most of varsity and I think damn..why am I here again? But then I remember what one of my Elementary PE teachers said. (Shut up! Dont you laugh at me just because I have to resort to regression just to smile at what I have accomplished! shame on you! *glares* : P Yeah I'm a big Lameo but I dont care! ) "Now I remember I used to see a boy out there by the play ground playing basketball. The sorriest player you ever did see he wasnt built for basketball. Yes now and again all the players would laugh and point. "Jamie go back home man you aint got no game." But the boy would stay there and practice everyday. While the others were at home playing cards Jamie would be out there shooting hoops. (Or at least trying and then having the ball smack the hoop and hit his head.) But everyday rain or shine that boy would be out on the courts, he wouldnt improve any but he'd be out there none the less. One day I get the nerve to ask him why he tries even though he knows the others make fun. Jamie doesnt stop dribbling the ball and not looking over at me he smiles. 'Coach,' he says as he shoots and misses the ball by four feet. 'its simple. I love the game.'" And so the story ends with the words. "I love the game" I try my damnest to improve and even if I dont I'll still love the game. I know there may be snikers and taughts about by hits and my form. People may hate me because I dont have as much talent and determination as they do, but at least I try. I may annoy people the way I try to laugh at myself once I miss a shot, I may annoy people about how serious I get when I miss a shot. But I've learned something this year. You can never please everyone. As corny as that sounds its true. I cant do one thing without objecting to someone elses ideas. I have to stand this way, my foot facing that way, hit this way, lunge, arm out, tucked in, racket up, racket down, defend, attack, soft touch, hard smash...Try as I might I can do this. Even if I'm not the best player in the world at least I try. Even if I get laughed at and trip over myself at least I try. Its so easy to say what people need to do while your watching the game. They pop it up and your watching you think smash but the person drops you think oh man that was such a bad shot. But its different in the game. You have a million different things running through your mind. Homeworks. Grades. Parents. Family Drama. Work. Life. Death. Its a wonder anyone can concentrate, but we all seem to do it. We all seem to try. I know someone on the team may be reading this so hey. Hi leave a comment if you like. Dont worry I wont be offended. Just remember this. I try to improve even though I miss about a dozen shots I try. I'm at Open Gym trying I'm not sitting on the couch watching Pokemon or reading or doing homework. I'm trying to focus on Badminton.
On a side note:
What I've learned this year (in general) about myself...
I try to please everyone and end up pleaseing no one. I cant be close friends with anyone because I try to be friends with everyone. I try to please everyone and end up loosing myself in the process. Who am I? Beats the hell out of me. Who are my friends? You tell me, I wont be able to tell you, I cant tell myself.
*~*~ A very Mopy and sad Kathy ~*~*

My next favorite Lame song...

2006-04-08T21:48:00.000-07:00

Particle Man

Particle man, Particle man,
Doin' the things a particle can,
What's he like?
It's not important,
Particle man.

Is he a dot?Or is he a speck?
When he's under water does he get wet?
Or does the water get him instead?
Nobody knows,
Particle man.

Triangle man, Triangle man,
Triangle man hates Particle man,
They have a fight,
Triangle wins,
Triangle man.

Universe man, Universe man,
The size of the entire Universe man,
Usually kind to Smaller man,
Universe man.
He's got a watch with a minute hand,
Millenium hand and an eon hand,
And when they meet it's a happy land,
Faxolite man, Universe man.

Person man, Person man,
Hit on the head with a frying pan,
Lives his life in a garbage can,
Person man.

Is he depressed?
Or is he a mess?
Does he feel totally worthless?
Who came up with Person man?
Degraded man, Person man.

Triangle man, Triangle man,
Triangle man hates Person man,
They have a fight,
Triangle wins,
Triangle man.

Here's the link so you know how it sounds Just click on the song titled Particle Man (And yes I am bored and lame enough to listen to this crap haha) >>http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B000002H7V/ref=pd_bbs_null_1/104-7110161-8483102?v=glance&s=music

Trophy!

2006-03-28T21:23:00.000-08:00

I'm too gosh darn lazy to put up a pic of JUST my trophy so I'm putting up a pic of EVERYONE on our TEAM's Trophies that we ALL won! muha! *smug* They're slightly green looking but they're really blue.

WE WON!

2006-03-28T21:10:00.000-08:00

WE WON OUR GAME AGAIST NM! OH MY FREAK"N GOSH!!! HAHA! *Super grin*

PS LOST is on 2m SO HAPPY!

Brandy anyone...

2006-03-25T19:13:00.001-08:00

My family...mortally insane when it comes to parties. I remember just a couple months ago we had this new years party with balloons, poppers, noisemakers, a LIVE mariachi band, and (the most essential part for many f them) lots and lots of beer. Now when our family thinks beer we think of parties and celebrating something whether it be some cousin graduating or a bird flying over your house. We dont really care WHAT the party is for as long as there's fun and beer. (Personally I wont ever drink nasty habit) But my family is full of Fun drunks. We have my aunt who after five or six beers and some wiskey and sprite (Pronounced with her mexican accent its pronounced Essprite LOL) well anyway after some couple oz of alcohol she's ready so sing Karyoke and dance till 5 in the morning. My uncle on the other hand shows his little kid side. (SERIOUSLY) He plays pranks on the neighbors and pops firecrackers in their backyards. I'm surprised a any form of alcohol has touched my lips. I realized how funny this was when we had our newyears party and I sat by my computer watching the party in my backyard when my aunt, blushing as pink as a peach bloosom, gives me a bemused smile and says "Ay mija! You smart grrrl you smart grrrl. You be a doctor aye? Yeah a doctor. AYE! MY mija's gonna be a doctor cabrones!" I try to fight back a laugh as she flips off most of her beloved family. "My mija fuckers.. She hands me a blue party cup. "Dont ever drink mija." I nodd and look in the cup, beer. I laugh out loud. She had just asked me not to drink and hands me a cup of beer. Insane, my wonderful aunt. Man I love my family.

Badminton Peeps

2006-03-19T20:06:00.000-08:00

In the Gym we're getting Hiffy. Stupid, dumb and hiffy! Playing Badminton and we're doing it for lifey! ~ This rap/ song was made by Janie and Dom the Greats
At the Torny me and Kerry made this song up : Over the net, in the court, four corner's its possible!

Anyway I WON MY FRIST (and not last) TROPHY ON SATURDAY! WOOT! I'M SO PROUD OF ME AND KERRY FOR WINNING OUR GIRLS DOUBLES (cons) GAME! ROCK ON KERRY! ROCK ON!
i'LL POST A PIC OF MY TROPHY LATER...MUHA i FEEL SO VAIN...

*- Lani-*

Its all about first impressions..

2006-03-15T21:11:00.000-08:00

These are some pics I randomly selected to put on my blog of nice looking guys in one outfit and the same looking guy in a not so nice outfit. (Warning: When I say nice looking guys I mean JUST in that one particular pic)
This pic of Daniel Radcliffe in the plain white shirt and jeans is kinda nice. It works for me but then again I think about all the other pics. Daniel Radcliffe hmm *googles and finds a bazillion pics of this ugo here ^ *. Then I look for in perfections such as the pic above. ^-^ *I have nothing against Daniel Radcliffe I just dont think he's hot.
Last I checked that shirt Dan's wearing wasnt for guys.

Then we've got nice looking guys with nice hair, great build, an air of confidence like Sawyer above in the Black shirt and ripped jeans. (Shame on anyone who confused Sawyer for Daniel Radcliffe haha) Now you look at Sawyer again and you see Green and purple flowers....(I had those kind of flowers at my promotion woot! Go sawyer! extra points! *ahem*)

I'm not saying looks matter. They dont, they honestly and truely dont, in a certain situation that is. IE formal occation, party,etc...

Another song I love to pieces...

2006-03-15T20:28:00.000-08:00

Breathing each other's lives
Holding this in mind
That if we fall, we all fall
And we fall alone
The cold insincerity of steel machines
Have consumed our euphoria
Transforming us into muted dreams
Dreaming of the day that

We attack
Attack, attack, your fetal servitude
We attack
Attack, attack, attack with pesticide
We attack All the years of propaganda
We shall attack

Books illustrate what we already know
Candles cry towards the sky
Racing your falgs along polluted coasts
Dreaming of the day that

We attack
Attack, attack, your fetal servitude
We attack
Attack, attack, attack with pesticide
We attack All the years of propaganda
We shall attack Attack Attack
Breathing each other's lives
Holding this in mind
That if we fall, we all fall
And we fall alone

Breathing each other's lives
Holding this in mind
That if we fall, we all fall
And we fall alone
Whats the philsophy of displaced mines
The bombing of all homes and villages
Truth is the only sword bleeding minds
Bleeding till the day that

We attack Attack, attack, your fetal servitude
We attack Attack, attack, attack with pesticide
We attack All the years of propaganda
We shall attack
All the homes and villages
Attack all the schools and hospitals
You attack all the rapes and pillages

~That was...Attack
~Artist: System of a down
~Album: Hypnotize

Love this song So much

2006-03-15T20:02:00.000-08:00

Am I more than you bargained for yet
I've been dying to tell you anything you want to hear
Cause that's just who I am this week
Lie in the grass, next to the mausoleum
I'm just a notch in your bedpost
But you're just a line in a song
(A notch in your bedpost, but you're just a line in a song)

Drop a heart, break a name
We're always sleeping in, and sleeping for the wrong team

We're going down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we're going down swinging
I'll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it

[x2]Is this more than you bargained for yet
Oh don't mind me I'm watching you two from the closet
Wishing to be the friction in your jeans
Isn't it messed up how
I'm just dying to be him
I'm just a notch in your bedpost
But you're just a line in a song
(Notch in your bedpost, but you're just a line in a song)

Drop a heart, break a name
We're always sleeping in, and sleeping for the wrong team

We're going down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we're going down swinging
I'll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it[x2]

Down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we're going down swinging
I'll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it

We're going down, down in an earlier round (Take aim at myself)
And Sugar, we're going down swinging (Take back what you said)
I'll be your number one with a bullet (Take aim at myself)
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it

We're going down, down (down, down)
Down, down (down, down)
We're going down, down (down, down)
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it

We're going down, down in an earlier round (Take aim at myself)
And Sugar, we're going down swinging (Take back what you said)
I'll be your number one with a bullet (Take aim at myself)
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it

~That was... Sugar we're going down
~Artist: Fallout boy.
~Album: Under the Cork Tree

The Team

2006-02-28T20:11:00.000-08:00

Needs some TEAMwork. Seriuosly dudes we need unity.

A little laughter on the court..

2006-02-08T21:18:00.000-08:00

Badminton is a red-blooded sport for red-blooded men. It's no pink tea, and mollycoddles had better stay off the court.
All sports are games of inches.
Sport must be amateur or it is not sport. Sports played professionally are entertainment.
This Guy: smash = hardest shot = most mistakes = most feathers gone = most dead birds
Lawrence: yeah i know
Lawrence: still looks cool to have feathers floating down though
Lawrence: gives it a spiritual feeling
Lawrence: lol